Monday, February 15, 2010

The Pantry Bandit Strikes Again

It amazes me what my boys will and will not put in their mouths. Take my one year old. Today alone I caught him with chalk, crayons and a vacuum attachment in his mouth. But, put a piece of broccoli near his face and he'll run the other way. I just don't get it.

We're really having trouble with what our three year old son, Cooper, puts in his mouth. I've coined him the "pantry bandit." We have consistently found him huddled in the pantry cramming (typically junk food) into his mouth. Here's an example from last night. After dinner, I went into the pantry and first noticed a pair of scissors resting on the floor. My eyes traveled up to the second shelf where a package of chocolate chips was sliced open and chocolate morsels were cascading out of the packaging and onto the floor. Another glance at the floor and I noticed the morsels seemed to have formed a line from the package out the pantry door, through the kitchen, up the stairs and into Connor and Cooper's shared bedroom. At this point, I kept in mind the statement "innocent until proven guilty."

I asked both boys if they had entered the pantry and absconded with the chocolate chips. Connor denied it and appeared credible. Then, I glanced at Cooper. He's cheeks were bulging out like a chipmunk storing nuts for the winter. He had a brown substance adorning his cheeks and chin. When I asked him about his whereabouts, he opened his mouth and revealed a gooey brown substance coating his teeth and gums. I confronted him with the mounting evidence leading me to a conclusion that he is the guilty party (along with the fact that he is a repeat offender). I asked him how he pleaded to the charges. He indicated "not guilty." Since I serve as the executive and judicial branch in the family I immediately found him guilty of entering the pantry and partaking of a forbidden sweet (without permission) and the resulting deception that followed. The sentencing phase began at once: a brief incarceration in time out and probation from certain toys and electronics. Tears were shed during sentencing. Demands for an appeal were made. We're hoping Cooper is on the road to recovery!

No comments:

Post a Comment