Monday, January 24, 2011

Saying Goodbye to Babies

Cooper having fun at library story time.

They learned swahili today (something used so frequently in the heart of Indiana).

I was chatting with another mom friend today. We're both in the same spot: late thirties, already moms (three or four times over), mothers to children age toddlers and up. The topic came up, as it frequently does between mothers, whether we're finished bearing children.

She opened up about her internal wrangling about future fertility. She adores babies, and wants to hold just one more in her arms. But, then reality comes rushing in (more kids=more nuttiness, expenses, and on and on), and her thoughts swing over to perfect contentment at her current family size.

It's funny, I think two years after having my last son I can understand how she feels. Right after Collin was born, there was no question in my mind that my child-bearing days were finished. I practically burned my maternity clothes on the front lawn, and the baby clothes were shipped out of my door the minute they became snug.

But, then Collin grew from a fussy, needy newborn into an adorable toddler than grips my neck in a full bear hug, and says in toddler-ese, "I Love You." My heart melts, and I think..."Are we really done?" I look at all my former babies, and realize they're too old for Elmo, laps, and high chairs. I get a little weepy, not sure if I'm ready to bid all things baby goodbye.

But just as my eyes get moist, the boys squabble or someone attempts something truly insane, and I realize (just like my friend), having babies is a thing of the past. Our family is growing up, and good things come in big packages too.

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