Friday, March 2, 2012

Camp Lessons From the Woods

Celebrated my friend Claudia's birthday with a lunch at McAlister's Deli topped off with a yummy birthday cupcake.

The boys had a blast at the Indianapolis Children's Museum. The new Mr. Potato exhibit was a hit with the boys.

A letter arrived today from Grace, my niece. In her best fourth grade hand writing, she asked if she could visit our family over the summer visit for a few days or a week. The letter was signed with hearts and bubbles.

Sweet girl!

As I pondered her request, it got me thinking of the notion of a Wood Family camp. What could we possibly teach "campers"?

I came up with a list of programs or courses we could offer from all the wisdom we've gleaned as parents. The course list would read as such:

Breaking Up Fights Without Losing Your Cool

Develop the skills to diffuse or stop any sibling disagreement from the small scale scuffle to the full out brawl.
Warning: recommended for those with some martial arts or self defense training. A medical clearance is required before beginning this course.

Advanced Bedtime Skills

Learn the tricks to putting four little boys to bed in a timely fashion while maintaining complete sanity.
Warning: participants will be prone to drowsiness and are discouraged from driving or operating heavy machinery while taking this course.

Navigating the Pool with Four Boys

Develop the confidence to safely and happily escort four young boys to any swimming pool.
Warning: only recommended for strong swimmers with eyes in the back of their head and lightning fast reflexes. Never recommended for those only interested in lounging on the side of the pool with a breezy novel and a cold drink.

Sharing 101

Learn to teach the finer points of sharing to multiple siblings. Course participants will have numerous opportunities to practice these tips as sharing issues will likely break out over everything from rocks in the yard to popsicles in the freezer.
Warning: due to the extreme conditions participants will be placed in, those with heart issues and high blood pressure should not attend this class.

Learning to Speak Boy

Learn to speak Boy fluently in only a matter of weeks. Participants will learn how to converse on everything from Pokemon cards to basketball scores. Advanced students will even be able to translate grunt replies.
Warning: just because you can translate it, doesn't mean you'll understand it. Somethings may be, as they say, lost in translation.

Learning to Live in a Well-Loved House

Participants will learn to scrub out everything from silly putty in the carpet to crayon marks on the walls. If, and when, the cleaning is unsuccessful, the "grin and bear it" skills of adapting to a well-loved house will be taught.
Warning: never recommended for those with OCD or perfectionist tendencies.

Thinking One Step Ahead of a Five-Year-Old

For those who like the chess mentality of thinking. Learn to anticipate an unpredictable five-year-old's next move and be prepared for the possible repercussions.
Warning: It's harder than it sounds.

Loving Someone So Much It Hurts
Grasp the deep love a mother holds for her children. Understand how children turn a life upside down for the better.
Warning: Guaranteed to Make One Fall in Love.

No comments:

Post a Comment