Monday, March 26, 2012

Confessions of a Health Nut

Collin (aka Batman) flies through the yard, cape swaying in the wind.

Last week, Chris and I shopped at the grocery store. We meandered through the frozen foods until we landed at the waffle section.

"Can you grab a pack," I called out to Chris as I crossed off another item on my grocery list.

He pulled open the freezer door and reemerged clutching a whole wheat nutri-grain Eggo box.

I gasped, picturing the response my boys could have to the nutri-grain version of their favorite breakfast food. I voiced my concern to Chris, but he brushed my fears aside.

"It's healthier," he asserted. "They'll be fine."

I wasn't convinced.

This morning, I served the new whole wheat waffles to the boys. At first glance, the new waffles looked different, sporting a darker shade of brown. I silently cursed the waffle makers for failing to be just a wee bit sneakier. Is it really too much trouble for the Eggo people to create all the waffles in the same shade of brown? Haven't they heard of the stealth tactics used by the Deceptively Delicious folks?

The boys approached the breakfast table and gazed down at the waffles. They wrinkled their noses and their eyebrows furled. They questioned what exactly happened to their favorite breakfast food, the one single thing they never thought I'd touch.

Before I had a chance to answer, Caleb quieted the crowd. He announced, "They mutligrained it."

The boys gasped.

He continued, "They've turned into health nuts and they're trying to turn us into ones too."

A silence fell upon the room and they shot me a "How could you!" look. It was as if Caleb announced we were communists or Democrats/Republicans (depending on your political persuasion).

I thought about denying it, but the truth was already out. I pulled back my shoulders and hung my head high. I stared into each boys eyes and the truth tumbled off my tongue. With no regrets, I admitted changing the waffles and fessed up to the fact we've turned into full-fledged health nuts (or wanna be health nuts at least).

After the boys got over the shock of my admission and the trauma of switching a breakfast favorite, Caleb took the first bite. Three other boys eyed him with suspicion. He chewed for what seemed like an eternity and then nodded to the others. "It's not bad," he uttered. Three other boys dived into their waffles and quickly four plates were left with only crumbs.

I exhaled. Converts, I thought and smiled.

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