Saturday, June 9, 2012

Asperger's: Sibling Challenge

The boys and I picked strawberries from the fields at Spencer's Farm in Noblesville, Indiana.  In the last picture, you can see that Cooper has strawberry juice drizzled all over his cheeks.  Quite possibly he ate more than he brought home.

Hours earlier, I promised Connor I would play a card game with him.  Then, distraction after distraction popped up.  The game never happened.  At bedtime, Connor clutched a deck of Uno cards and reminded me of my promise.  It wasn't a good time.  My Asperger's son was in a tizzy.  I was needed to cool his flames.  As I was helping him work through emotions, Connor stepped into the room and handed his distraught brother an audio CD.  In my Aspie son's life, it was if Connor had given him gold.  The tantrum dissolved and I let out a sigh of relief.

With deep appreciation, my eyes shifted back to Connor.  He was still gripping the cards and shooting me desperate looks.  I snagged the deck and ushered him into my room.  We sat on my bed as I shuffled and distributed.  Connor enjoyed playing the game, but really relished the individual time.  He babbled on about every topic under the sun and searched my eyes for approval/understanding.

As we continued to play, I pondered how Connor feels about having an Asperger's brother.  Does Connor feel deprived of attention?  From a parent's perspective, it's a challenge to provide each son with equal amount of attention, especially when one child requires a little more.  Will one round of Uno provide him with the connection he needs?

Recently, Connor and I were talking about his Aspie brother.  I asked Connor what he thought of him.  He looked me in the eyes and said, "One day, when he's older, he'll be fine."

When he said that, I couldn't stop the tears.  How blessed both boys are to have each other!

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