Tuesday, August 21, 2012

It pays to be the baby

Caleb poses in front of his locker on his first day of fourth grade.

Who holds the best position in the birth order?

It's been a question highly debated for years.  As the eldest, I can see advantages to being the first born (younger parents, the newness of each milestone, an actual completed baby book).  But after today, I'm thinking the baby of the family may actually hold the prime birth order position.

Today Caleb started fourth grade and as my other two boys were already in school, that left the "baby" of the family and me to putz the hours away.  It's been years since I've only had one child at home.  It was so quite/easy/lonely/nice.  

I devoted some of the day to much needed home maintenance projects, but the majority of the day was allotted to my youngest son.  He picked the lunch.  I read to him when he asked.  We played games when he wanted.  I talked to him all morning.  I didn't have my attention torn between multiple siblings.  I was relaxed.  I was pleasant.  I was fun.  I wondered if any of his brothers saw me today would they even recognized this new and improved mother?

As much as I was happy for my youngest son receiving a boat load of attention, that old familiar mom guilt crept into my core.  Why couldn't I do this for all of my sons?  Did the middle boys get shafted merely because of their birth dates (the Jan Brady syndrome)?  Will my oldest son ever remember the two years I spent exclusively with him?  What's a mom to do to even the playing field?

The fact of the matter is birth order does impact mothering and the experience each child has in childhood.  I just pray I can make each child feel loved in whatever place they fall in the family (with whatever time I have with each child).


Caleb had his best start to school yet!  Thanks to everyone for the prayers!!


  1. Hey! I somehow happened upon your blog and it's been in my reader for over a year now. I actually saw you at Lion's Park once but didn't want to be a creeper and say I recognized you from your blog! :) It appears your son is going to the same school as my son though judging by the lockers! :) I'll have to stop and say hello if I see you! My son is in preschool though.

  2. Kelli: Too funny. Does your son go to Sycamore school? Are you a Zionsville mom?

  3. Yes he does! And no we live in Indy but love Lion's Park! :) I've met a few other moms at the school so far and they're all very nice! One is from Zionsville too. Are you going to the get acquainted coffee coming up? If so I'll have to stop by and say hello! My email is kelli417 at gmail

  4. i have 3 boys of my own, and when i saw your blog I just felt at home!! Cute family, I cant wait to read more of your blog. see my life here... www.laurabuller.blogspot.com

  5. Thanks Laura! I'll check out your blog too. Moms of boys get moms of boys, don't they!