A picture sent from Caleb's band teacher. He's just picked up the trumpet.
On Monday I was cranky. By bedtime, my fatigue turned into frustration that morphed into anger. My sons seemed to sense mom was having a "moment" and tried their best to blend into their surroundings when they watched me steam down the halls, smoke trailing behind me.
The next morning I confessed my mommy indiscretions to a friend. "I just don't know what got into me," I moaned. "Perhaps it's post-marathon fatigue?"
My friend shot me a sympathetic glance and then questioned, "Now that your marathon is done, do you think you just don't know what to do with yourself?"
Hmm. I certainly hadn't thought of that.
The wheels in my head began to spin. Do I have a post-marathon plan?
That's when the thoughts began to race through my mind. Perhaps I should:
-immediately run another marathon,
-train for an ultra marathon,
-try a triathlon,
-write a book,
-redecorate my house,
and on and on.
Then, I stopped.
Why do I have to have a next thing?
When was being a mother, wife, and friend not enough?
Where did I get this notion that I can't just be a regular o stay-at-home mom, I have to be a stay-at-home mom that is, well, more?
If I really thought about it, I imagine the root of wanting more sits on issues of contentment based on self worth. And that begs the question: where is my self worth found?
Certainly as a SAHM, self worth is not earned from the accolades of colleagues. In fact, an SAHM rarely receives anything stronger than her own pat on the back for her efforts. For many of us, it leaves a gigantic hole in the self worth department that seems to only be filled by something other than being just a plain old mom.
The thing is, self worth shouldn't be based on a profession, or a race time, or even the praises of others. Self worth should be planted on being content with the individual God made me to be and in the position where He placed me to be now. Period.
The only post-marathon strategy I have is to find the contentment and worth in the now.
That might be tougher than running a marathon!