Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Little boys love a good traffic stop

I was cruising down the road in our little town when I noticed the flashing lights in my rearview mirror.  Drat, I muttered (or perhaps  a slightly stronger word) and did what all good drivers do in that situation: slam on the breaks and pray.

I pulled over to the side and watched as the police man moseyed out of his vehicle and landed at my window.  During his promenade, my boys became fully aware that a police car was parked behind our minivan accompanied by a REAL LIFE police man standing mere inches away.

It's funny, a friend told me her girls cried buckets when she got pulled over by the police.  Not my boys.  No sir.  My boys were giddy.  In their world, a traffic stop ranks right up there with firetrucks, puppy dogs, and birthday parties.

Mr. No Nonsense Officer got right to the point; my license plate frame was obstructing the state name on my license plate.  Really, I wasn't speeding?  Really, this is traffic stop worthy?  He scowled at me and asked the perfunctory questions:

-Any weapons in the car?  (Lightsabers count?)
-Suspicious objects in car? (Define suspicious.)
-Active driver's license? (Yes, but inactive photo...can you do anything about that?)

All during this time, the excitement in the car was rising.  As soon as the officer returned back to his vehicle, a floodgate of questions poured out from the back.  

Cooper squealed, "Are you going to jail?"  He seemed ecstatic about the prospect of his mother wearing a bright orange jumpsuit trapped behind bars.  Perhaps he was already envisioning the Cops episode featuring his mom (with his own brief cameo).  

When I assured him I wouldn't go to jail, his face fell.  He mulled it over for a bit and then perked up when he asked, "Will you lose your driver's license?  Maybe we'll all have to ride bikes everywhere, even to really far places like Alabama.  It might take like ten hours to ride there."

Without a chance to respond, the questions continued:

-Will you lose your car?
-Will you end up in handcuffs?
-Does he have a taser?
-Can we see his gun?

Right about that time, the Officer returned.  

Much to the disappointment of my boys, I ended up with a warning.

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