Monday, July 22, 2013

Apple Camp

Today, the older two boys went to Apple Camp (with pal Emma).  Those born before 1980 imagine a camp held at an orchard filled with Galas, Granny Smiths, and Honey Crisps.  But for the Generation Y's, apples no longer connote fruit, but computers and igadgets.

Apple Camp stems from the brilliant minds of the higher-ups at Apple, that I'm sure.  It's a FREE camp that teaches the youth of America the art of computer cinematography.  During the 1½ hours of camp, parents are required to remain in the store.  What does one do in the store for 1½ hours?  Gaze/pine for/try out/buy....all the shiny new toys.

While the older boys busied themselves with creating a theme song, I watched my four year old master the ipad quicker than I can flip on the power.  He was having SO much fun that he didn't want to stop for anything, ANYTHING...not even a bathroom break.

Just about that time, I noticed a yellow puddle pooled on the floor and my son's newly saturated shorts.  I scooped him up and contemplated what to do.  It was one of those morally pivotal moments, do I:

A)  rush him to the bathroom, snag new pants, slink back into the store, and feign surprise at the fresh liquid blanketing the floor?

or 

B)  fess up.  

I chose the road less traveled; I selected option B.

Clutching Collin's hand, we meandered over to a 20-something (seemingly childless) employee.  I tumbled out a confession with an accompanied apology.  His sparkling smile soured.  I offered to clean it up (with what, I'm not sure).  Begrudgingly, he declined my offer.

I chirped, "They should have a mop app, right?"

My humor fell flat.

I grabbed Collin and we took a swift trip to the bathroom and neighboring Gymboree (replacement pants).  On our return, we were greeted at the door by a yellow "CAUTION" sign and a scowling employee.  I refused to make eye contact and maintained an expression that read, "I wonder whose kid did that?"

At the end of camp, the counselors/Apple employee doled out homework instructions.  She rattled off a lengthy explanation peppered with terms such as zip drive, landscape, storyboards, and so forth.  The boys nodded their heads as if the instructions were as plain as day.  I wondered if this woman was even speaking English.

At home, the boys eagerly started their homework assignments: making a video.  Connor clearly had a vision and his vision needed to be played out by talented actors, or siblings.  He typecasted Cooper as the villain.  Cooper declined the role.  Negotiations began.  It quickly became apparent that Cooper can be bought.  For four quarters, Cooper agreed to the part.

Once filming began, Cooper proved to be a volatile actor.  He became the Lindsey Lohan of the set, prone to fits and creative disagreements with the director  We extras feared the film was doomed.  But then the director upped Cooper's wages.  A chocolate chip cookie was offered.  Cooper couldn't resist.  He played the villain well, but still with his own artistic flair.

The final footage is shaky.  The featured villain speaks incoherently (due to his mask) and flutters in and out of the scene with utter abandon.  The plot?  Not sure.  Climax?  Hmm.  Conclusion?  Who knows.  Greater moral statement? Beats me.

But the camera captured little smiles.

The point of Apple camp?  

Pure Fun.  

Constant Entertainment.  

Good Stories.










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