Sunday, September 15, 2013

Guided Minivan Tour

 Collin and his buddy Nathan paid a visit to the new playscape at The Children's Museum of Indianapolis.  

 Had a great time celebrating my dear friend Cara's 29th (ahem) Birthday!
Finished up the weekend picking/eating apples at Stuckey's Apple Orchard.  

I offered to drive a friend's son to preschool.  My friend was eager to accept my offer but her tot had his misgivings.  In an effort to ease his transition into my car, she suggested he and I have a "meet and greet" followed by a guided tour of my vehicle.

When she tossed out the idea, I giggled at the thought of a van tour.  I can't think of many (even little ones) that would scan the confines of my minivan and think, "Can't wait to jump into the backseat of this sweet ride!"

How can I say it...

My minivan is well-loved (to put it kindly). 

Honestly, its shabby appearance can thrust my car aficionado father-in-law into convulsions.  

As for a guided tour, I rehearsed what I would say....

"Welcome to the Wood minivan.  Before we start the guided tour, I'd like to offer a few safety instructions.  Remember, never light a match.  We can't rule out the existence of combustible materials in the backseat.  And, if you have any heart conditions, this may not be the vehicle for you."

After a few hard tugs at the "automatic" door, I'd brace myself for that first "ooh" (or "ugh") moment when the complete backseat is exposed.  The tour would continue....

"I'd love to talk about some of the perks with riding in my car:

Have confidence in the fact that you'll never starve.  Should we ever be stranded, we could feast for weeks on the amount of goldfish crumbs that litter the floor!

Every day is a new experience in the minivan.  Sifting through the "goodies" on the floor is "like a box of chocolate's, you never know what you're going to get."

Finally, my vehicle has little to no chance of ever being carjacked.  Even the criminals have higher standards!"

In conclusion...

"Please remember, we are not responsible for damage to clothes, shoes, backpacks, or mental stability.  

Now, what about that ride?"

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