Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Mommy Covert Mission: Purging a Child's Room

Thanks for these great pictures from the Greenlees.  Cooper was so excited to go to the Pacer Game with their family! 

My friend Maggie and I played hair on Saturday.  She taught me the fine art of using the curling iron.  Love the end result but pretty sure I'll never be able to replicate.  My husband was a bit sad that I didn't curl my hair the next day to go to the grocery store.  Back to reality: ponytails and yoga pants!

A decade plus into this mommy gig and I've learned a few things.  

I know that broccoli will never go quicker than candy.  

If children are too quiet, it's a problem.

Common sense is something that's learned.

I've also determined (the hard way) that children's rooms are never to be purged/organized in the presence of one's own children.  I know some moms feel differently.  They endorse teaching children those skills by working together on a room.  I think those mothers are:

1)  destined for sainthood; and/or

2)  a bit nuts.

I enter into a purge/organization project like one would prepare for a covert mission.  While my children are getting ready to leave for school, I play it casual, hiding empty trash bags and desperately trying to limit my excitement.  I toss out phrases like, "I guess I'll just lounge around the house today."  The minute the boys step out the door, I spring into action.  I dive under beds, move dressers, and climb into the recesses of their closet.

I discover all sorts of goodies: empty candy wrappers, headless action figures, missing library books, birthday party goody bag treasures.  And Legos.  Oh, the Legos.  I think Legos are like cockroaches; they seem to multiply and I have a strong suspicion they too could survive a nuclear attack.  

By the end, beads of sweat cascade down my forehead.  My hair is disheveled and a layer of dust and grime blankets my clothes.  A trash bag full of "stuff" sits by the door.  And the room looks....amazing.  I sit on the ground for minutes on end savoring cleanliness and order.  How rare!  What a treat!

When the boys return from school, I stage my appearance.  I plop down on the couch and clutch a book as if that's how I rolled for the last several hours.  I hold my breathe.  I wait for their reaction.  Will they scream, "What happen to my plastic kazoo from _____'s party?" or "Where is that whistle I earned from the library's prize box?"  Will there be a wailing and gnashing of teeth?

They bound up the stairs and rush into their room.  And then....


After minutes of quiet, I enter their room.  The boys happily fiddle with toys in their newly pristine digs.  Finally, I toss out, "Notice that your room looks cleaner?"

One son lets out a quick glance and then mumbled, "No."


Mission accomplished.



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